5 Best Stone Cold Steve Austin Promos That Are Funny (& 5 Best That Are Serious)
There may never be a talker in the wrestling industry as influential as Stone Cold Steve Austin, who wowed audiences for decades with his intense attitude and unmatched charisma.
For years the Rattlesnake proved that he could hold an entire arena in the palm of his hand, or give the WWE Universe a hearty laugh before delivering a Stunner to whoever stood across from him in the ring.
Austin was the type of performer who created an unforgettable moment every time he laced up his boots, and it's no surprise that most of them occurred with a microphone in his hand.
10 The Creation Of 3:16 Day (Funny)
When Austin returned to WWE in 2020 it was in front of zero fans due to the recent COVID-19 outbreak. That didn't stop him from charming audiences at home as he energetically screamed "Gimme a Hell Yeah!" to a silent arena, then began reading the rules to his new holiday, 3:16 Day.
Austin eventually turned his attention towards commentator Byron Saxton, who inevitably ended up taking a Stunner. Austin and Becky Lynch would then share a beer over Saxton's unconscious body, creating a joyous moment during a dark time.
9 "I Need To Beat You Rock" (Serious)
In 2001 the two biggest wrestling stars in the world were Steve Austin and The Rock, and their clash at WrestleMania X-Seven for the WWE championship was as highly-anticipated as any in the company's long history.
To build up the match Jim Ross conducted an interview with both men on SmackDown. It was here that Austin admitted to Rocky that he didn't just want to win...he "needed" to win. The promo heavily foreshadowed Austin's decision to turn heel and befriend his arch-nemesis, Vince McMahon, who helped him capture WWE gold.
8 Drinking Beer And Riding Mechanical Bulls (Funny)
One thing that every fan knows about Stone Cold...he loves beer. The Rattlesnake made this point loud and clear during an edition of Monday Night Raw back in 2002, where he spoke with Michael Cole about the upcoming Royal Rumble, and how much harder it would be for opponents to eliminate him with a beer belly.
Austin later tells a story of riding a mechanical bull in every direction humanly possible before telling the rabid Dallas fans that he looks forward to having a "What...What...Whataburger," a hilarious line that quickly resonated with the Texas faithful.
7 Face-Off With Tyson (Serious)
The pull-apart brawl between Austin and boxing legend Iron Mike Tyson in 1998 has become one of the defining highlights of the Attitude Era, and one of the pivotal moments in the well-documented Monday Night Wars.
5 Best Celebrities Who Appeared In The Attitude Era (And The 5 Worst)
At the time Tyson was considered the baddest man on the planet, but Austin, fresh off his second Royal Rumble win, showed no fear. He got right up in Tyson's face, declared that he could kick his a--, then showed him a little sign language. The segment gave Austin a ton of momentum heading into WrestleMania XIV.
6 The Fake Stone Cold (Funny)
In 2002 Chris Jericho stood at the top of WWE as the first-ever Undisputed champion and was preparing to defend the title against Austin at the No Way Out PPV. Ahead of their showdown, Jericho decided to bring out a fake overweight Stone Cold to mock, and boy did the Rattlesnake make that poor lookalike pay.
Austin would hilariously berate fake Stone Cold for several minutes, pointing out each similarity they shared before finally putting him out of his misery with a Stunner. Watching the fake Austin sweat profusely only added to the comedy.
5 "I Truly Am The World Wrestling Federation Champion" (Serious)
Austin was well on his way to the top of the WWE card in 1997, and his fiery promo following the Final Four PPV merely teased his superstar potential.
In a direct address to the camera, Austin questioned why Shawn Michaels received special treatment while he was forced to compete with a bum knee and the flu. To cap things off...Austin truly believed that he was the company's world champion, later exclaiming that there "ain't nobody that was going to tell him different."
4 The Stupid Undertaker (Funny)
The Undertaker has always been one of Stone Cold's greatest opponents, but he stood no chance against the Rattlesnake during a 2002 edition of Monday Night Raw, especially in his biker form.
The Deadman had been pleading with GM Ric Flair to name him as the #1 contender for the WWE Championship, a move that prompted Austin to come out and give Taker a piece of his mind. He did just that, calling Taker stupid from head to toe, and even promising to steal Taker's stupid motorcycle. This may have been Austin's best "What" exchange ever.
3 Threatening Donald Trump (Serious)
After his in-ring career came to an end Austin shifted to an on-screen authority figure, and in 2007 was named the special guest referee for one of WrestleMania 23's most marquee matchups, the Battle of the Billionaires.
The bout saw Umaga, representing Vince McMahon, battle Bobby Lashley, who represented Apprentice star and future U.S. President Donald Trump. During the matchup's contract signing Austin calmly warned Trump not to ruffle his feathers, otherwise, he'd be served with an 8-billion dollar can of whoop-ass. Unfortunately for Trump, that prophecy would be fulfilled at WrestleMania.
2 Foam In Stephanie's Bra (Funny)
Austin has had many encounters with Stephanie McMahon during his prestigious career, but none may be better than the time he humiliated Vince's princess on New Year's Day in 2001. On that night Austin was tasked with selling a ton of beer and hot dogs in order to be placed in the world title picture, something he accomplished thanks to the A.P.A buying his inventory.
Attitude Era: The McMahon-Helmsley Regime, Explained
Later Austin would disrobe Stephanie to an arena of screaming fans, further rubbing in the embarrassment with the line, "There's more foam in that bra than one of my beer's." While Austin was never afraid to drop a McMahon, or anyone, with a Stunner, this time his quick wit delivered an even worse blow.
1 The Birth Of Austin 3:16 (Serious)
The meteoric rise of Stone Cold Steve Austin's career can all be traced back to one promo...the birth of Austin 3:16. After winning the 1996 King of the Ring Austin addressed his final opponent, Jake Roberts, who had begun reciting scripture as a part of his character.
Austin, who was familiar with the famous John 3:16 bible verse, would then preach eight words that catapulted him to the top of the industry, "Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your a--." To this day it is widely considered one of the greatest and most important promos in wrestling history.
ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7tbTErKeoqqSowaa%2BjZympmenrLJursSsq2arpKS7pnnCqKOdZaOpsrexjJqsrKyZo3qxvs6mpqxn